Orson's Opinions

Note: Due to my hectic schedule filled with puppy-wrangling and trips to Walmart, today’s post will be written by a guest writer.

My name is Orson Bouvier, and I, along with my sister, Cupcake Bouvier Ramirez Jones, live with Lula Lemon and LA. Lula has asked me to provide some insight and observations on food items that I’ve had since moving in with her and LA. I’m not as eloquent as Lula, so please forgive my writing.

When we met Lula and LA, they presented us with cheddar cheese. Heaven! Neither I nor Cupcake had ever had cheese before. We would do whatever Lula and LA asked just to get more cheese, including sleeping in two cramped, over-the-top pink crates. Since then, we’ve also had American cheese. Lula uses it sometimes to get me to go for a walk or sit down and shake hands. It works.

Bananas were the next treat given. Not as good as cheese, but we still like it. Now that we’ve grown a bit, we get Alpo dog treats when we learn tricks. They’re hard, but tasty. When I’ve walked really well on my leash, I get Ol’ Roy’s Tiny T’s treats, which are like smoky little T-bones. I eat mine really fast and then steal Cupcake’s, because she always drops hers.



The author

 Before we moved in, Lula baked treats for us. The bone-shaped chicken ones are really good. The people-shaped peanut butter ones are too, but they give me diarrhea. Lula wasn’t too happy with that.

Some of my favorite things to eat don’t come from Lula’s kitchen. I discovered grass and leaves since moving to Lula’s house. They’re so good, but they don’t really agree with my tummy. They agree with Cupcake’s even less. LA wasn’t very happy with Cupcake the night she ate all the grass and leaves. Or maybe it was the berries that were on the ground next to the “croutons”. LA calls them croutons, but Lula calls them rabbit droppings. Either way, they’re crunchy and I like that. Dead bugs are good too, but I don’t find those too often. Kleenex, wax paper, and cigarette filters are pretty high on my list, but Lula always takes those out of my mouth before I can really enjoy them. One of the best treats was when LA dropped a Bit O’ Honey on the floor. I ate the candy, wrapper and all. Cupcake tried to take it away from me, but I won. Until Lula took it away from me and yelled at LA for leaving it on the floor.

I also like to eat shoes, but LA hit me in the face with one today, so I don’t do that anymore. He said it was an accident, but I don’t think so. That’s okay. I’ll just poop in his room later. Or goad Cupcake into eating some more of those berries!

A Cold Drink and a Long Wait

Now that we’re proud dog owners, LA and I are on the lookout for things to do with the puppies. The Yiasou Greek Festival took place over the weekend, so it seemed the perfect opportunity to experience a different culture and get the puppies out of the house.

Once we arrived at the Greek festival, we were informed that we couldn’t enter with our dogs, even though they were safely nestled inside tote bags. “It’s because of the Health Department.” I wanted to say, “You let all of these children in here, and they’re messier than my dog-in-a-tote-bag,” but I accepted their apologies without making a scene. The woman did offer to get us something from inside the festival, if we wanted.

The Greek festival may not be pet-friendly, but NoDa is. We thought we’d head over, check out some of the shops and galleries and maybe even see our friend, John, who owns Dogmatic Training. Faithful readers know that LA and I never end up where we plan to go. We missed NoDa and ended up in Plaza-Midwood. To be fair, LA thinks Plaza-Midwood is NoDa, so it was all good. Most of the stores were closed, so we opted to get a drink and some rest at Zada Jane’s. Their patio is pet-friendly and we were all hot and in need of refreshment.

We were told to seat ourselves on the patio, which we did. And then we waited. After what seemed like 10 minutes, we were brought menus and our drink orders were taken. A few more people and dogs arrived, including a giant Rottweiler named Tyson. He was quite interested in Cupcake, LA’s pooch, who looked remarkably like a tiny version of Tyson. The puppies were as impressed by the service as we were and promptly fell asleep in our laps.

LA and Cupcake

Cupcake in 2 years?

We settled on spinach artichoke dip to share, although The Trio did sound tempting. The trio was a scoop each of tomato hummus, black bean dip, and pimento cheese, served with whole wheat pita. Tyson’s owner did order that and I was very jealous when I saw it. I actually thought they’d lost our order, since the dip took so long to arrive. In all fairness, Tyson’s owner’s Trio did as well, and the kitchen had only to scoop the items on the platter. Considering that Zada Jane’s wasn’t busy, we were surprised that the food took so long. When the spinach artichoke dip arrived, it did not make up for the long wait. The overall taste was fine, but the consistency was far too runny. Both of us agreed that the same dip at Chili’s is a much better option. We didn’t have the money to order anything else from Zada Jane’s. The dinner entrees ranged from $15 for mushroom ravioli (which I don’t eat) to $27 for filet mignon. The salads were a less expensive option. Tyson’s owner ordered one and it looked quite tasty.

While the overall service was lacking, one server did bring around bowls and a water pitcher to all of the dogs on the patio. The bowls were bigger than our puppies, so we passed, but I did appreciate it. While I would return to Zada Jane’s for some sweet tea while I’m out with my dog on a hot day, I wouldn’t go back on my own. I’ve found plenty of other establishments that offer a similarly priced menu but with much better service.

Zada Jane’s is located at 1601 Central Ave. in Charlotte.

Dog Days of Summer

In anticipation of the addition of two new family members, I thought I should do a little baking. Give the new girls a Welcome Home treat. So I cracked open the cookbook and baked something I’ve never baked before. Dog treats.

I’d run across a recipe for dog treats a couple years back in a dessert cookbook I’d picked up, but I never had a reason to try it out. From reading it, I knew that dog treats involved ingredients that I have in my pantry and that they didn’t appear to be too difficult to make. When LA first got a dog, we got some treats from Deborah’s Kitchen Kreations. Minimal ingredients and no preservatives. Plus, Mr. Piddlesworth seemed to enjoy them.

Once I knew I would be getting my own dog, I started looking at the dog treats on the market. The inexpensive ones had an ingredient list as long as my arm. The treats with a short, and reasonably healthy, ingredient list were prohibitively expensive. That’s when I decided to make my own.

Dog treat canisters made by LA

I ran across a dog treat cookbook that received rave reviews on Amazon. It even came with its own bone-shaped cutter! I bought the book and got to work. The cutter that came with the book was as big as my puppy would be, so I picked up some smaller cutters elsewhere. I also thought it might be a good opportunity to make treats in different shapes and sizes. To keep things interesting for the puppies.

The first batch I made was made with flour, margarine, chicken broth, and cornmeal. I went with a bone shape for those. They smelled delicious in the oven and tasted like a salt-free chicken cracker. The next batch had peanut butter, oats, whole wheat flour, water, and vegetable oil and were in the shape of gingerbread men. The dough smelled like cookies. We couldn’t wait to try them. Halfway through cooking, they began to smell like burnt peanut butter, which really is not all that appetizing. I bit into one once they were done. I couldn’t taste the peanut butter. They just tasted like dry. LA didn’t understand that description until he tried one, too.

Once we picked up the puppies, we wanted to try out the freshly-baked treats. The chicken treats were far too big, so I gave my puppy, Orson, a peanut butter man. She licked it. Then she ignored it. She had the same reaction to Deb’s chicken kitty treats and some puppy brownies (made with cream cheese and carob) that I got from another vendor at the farmers’ market. Her favorite treats are cheddar cheese and bananas. My dog treat baking days were over. And they only lasted for one day.