Orson's Opinions

Note: Due to my hectic schedule filled with puppy-wrangling and trips to Walmart, today’s post will be written by a guest writer.

My name is Orson Bouvier, and I, along with my sister, Cupcake Bouvier Ramirez Jones, live with Lula Lemon and LA. Lula has asked me to provide some insight and observations on food items that I’ve had since moving in with her and LA. I’m not as eloquent as Lula, so please forgive my writing.

When we met Lula and LA, they presented us with cheddar cheese. Heaven! Neither I nor Cupcake had ever had cheese before. We would do whatever Lula and LA asked just to get more cheese, including sleeping in two cramped, over-the-top pink crates. Since then, we’ve also had American cheese. Lula uses it sometimes to get me to go for a walk or sit down and shake hands. It works.

Bananas were the next treat given. Not as good as cheese, but we still like it. Now that we’ve grown a bit, we get Alpo dog treats when we learn tricks. They’re hard, but tasty. When I’ve walked really well on my leash, I get Ol’ Roy’s Tiny T’s treats, which are like smoky little T-bones. I eat mine really fast and then steal Cupcake’s, because she always drops hers.



The author

 Before we moved in, Lula baked treats for us. The bone-shaped chicken ones are really good. The people-shaped peanut butter ones are too, but they give me diarrhea. Lula wasn’t too happy with that.

Some of my favorite things to eat don’t come from Lula’s kitchen. I discovered grass and leaves since moving to Lula’s house. They’re so good, but they don’t really agree with my tummy. They agree with Cupcake’s even less. LA wasn’t very happy with Cupcake the night she ate all the grass and leaves. Or maybe it was the berries that were on the ground next to the “croutons”. LA calls them croutons, but Lula calls them rabbit droppings. Either way, they’re crunchy and I like that. Dead bugs are good too, but I don’t find those too often. Kleenex, wax paper, and cigarette filters are pretty high on my list, but Lula always takes those out of my mouth before I can really enjoy them. One of the best treats was when LA dropped a Bit O’ Honey on the floor. I ate the candy, wrapper and all. Cupcake tried to take it away from me, but I won. Until Lula took it away from me and yelled at LA for leaving it on the floor.

I also like to eat shoes, but LA hit me in the face with one today, so I don’t do that anymore. He said it was an accident, but I don’t think so. That’s okay. I’ll just poop in his room later. Or goad Cupcake into eating some more of those berries!

Dog Days of Summer

In anticipation of the addition of two new family members, I thought I should do a little baking. Give the new girls a Welcome Home treat. So I cracked open the cookbook and baked something I’ve never baked before. Dog treats.

I’d run across a recipe for dog treats a couple years back in a dessert cookbook I’d picked up, but I never had a reason to try it out. From reading it, I knew that dog treats involved ingredients that I have in my pantry and that they didn’t appear to be too difficult to make. When LA first got a dog, we got some treats from Deborah’s Kitchen Kreations. Minimal ingredients and no preservatives. Plus, Mr. Piddlesworth seemed to enjoy them.

Once I knew I would be getting my own dog, I started looking at the dog treats on the market. The inexpensive ones had an ingredient list as long as my arm. The treats with a short, and reasonably healthy, ingredient list were prohibitively expensive. That’s when I decided to make my own.

Dog treat canisters made by LA

I ran across a dog treat cookbook that received rave reviews on Amazon. It even came with its own bone-shaped cutter! I bought the book and got to work. The cutter that came with the book was as big as my puppy would be, so I picked up some smaller cutters elsewhere. I also thought it might be a good opportunity to make treats in different shapes and sizes. To keep things interesting for the puppies.

The first batch I made was made with flour, margarine, chicken broth, and cornmeal. I went with a bone shape for those. They smelled delicious in the oven and tasted like a salt-free chicken cracker. The next batch had peanut butter, oats, whole wheat flour, water, and vegetable oil and were in the shape of gingerbread men. The dough smelled like cookies. We couldn’t wait to try them. Halfway through cooking, they began to smell like burnt peanut butter, which really is not all that appetizing. I bit into one once they were done. I couldn’t taste the peanut butter. They just tasted like dry. LA didn’t understand that description until he tried one, too.

Once we picked up the puppies, we wanted to try out the freshly-baked treats. The chicken treats were far too big, so I gave my puppy, Orson, a peanut butter man. She licked it. Then she ignored it. She had the same reaction to Deb’s chicken kitty treats and some puppy brownies (made with cream cheese and carob) that I got from another vendor at the farmers’ market. Her favorite treats are cheddar cheese and bananas. My dog treat baking days were over. And they only lasted for one day.

It's Just a Little Kibble

Today being a Saturday, LA and I were off to the Winecoff farmer’s market. We were on a quest for something a little different than the standard produce. LA found out that he would be the owner of a new puppy by the end of the day. To create a welcoming environment for Mr. Piddlesworth (you don’t want to know his full name), LA wanted to buy some dog treats. I wanted feta cheese. That’s the beauty of the farmer’s market—you can find just about everything there.

Away from the main building, Deborah’s Kitchen Krafts was set up under a canopy. Not only does Deb make some great mustard and tapenade, she has expanded into the world of dog biscuits. These are available in cheese, applesauce, and carrot flavors. Deb recommended the applesauce variety, but LA ignored her and went for carrot. A carrot dog biscuit? As Deb pointed out, she had samples. I tried the carrot one. I could see the carrot but not taste it. LA was a bit appalled, but it was basically a thick, very dry cracker. I made him try it too. Homemade dog biscuits have very few ingredients and all of them are found in typical human food. The dryness was the most unpleasant aspect. So yes, today I ate a dog biscuit. A gourmet dog biscuit.

We took our dog biscuits and headed up to the main building. The heat was overwhelming but worsened as we got inside. Today was the busiest that I’ve seen the market so far this season. People were out in force, many with their kids in tow. We stopped and got peaches for later. We headed to the Cackleberry Farms booth (next to Darryl’s Copper Workshop) for feta and some hard Cheddar-like cheese. All I’ve heard it called is “hard cheese”. We’d tasted it before but never bought any. I’m looking forward to some grilled cheese sandwiches.

As we swam through the crowd into the heart of the market, just past the many bins of different soaps, a man collecting food donations stopped us. Not to ask for a donation, but to ask LA how often he changes his hair color. He’d seen him “around the village” and knew it hadn’t been red before. Then he gave me a high-five for my willingness to walk next to LA in public. But he did call me “striking”, so that was a plus.

We stopped by Ohana Favorites and tried some of Joanie’s Hawaiian pepper jelly. It started out sweet, with a taste of tropical fruit, then turned spicy. An added bonus was that it covered the dog biscuit taste in my mouth. We didn’t get a chance to talk to Joanie, as she had several paying customers in her booth. Along with the jellies and cereals, she also has started selling boiled peanuts. I’ll have to give those a try in the near future.

The booth in the back is occupied by Miller Produce. I wanted to get some honey, so that’s where I headed. LA is a bit of a honey-snob and wanted to know what type of flower their honey comes from. Laura Miller explained that they grow beans, potatoes, okra, zucchini, tomatoes and all kinds of other things, so the honey has a little bit of everything in it. She offered us a sample, but we both turned her down. I tasted it once I got home and found it to be very mild, much more so than wildflower honey. And lighter in color.

As we were leaving, I wanted to stop by Harvest Catering’s booth. On Wednesday nights, Harvest Catering offers takeout meals, including a meat, two sides and a dinner roll for $6. This past Wednesday, I had the pot roast with mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese (this coming Wednesday's option is baked ham). I was told that the pot roast was fantastic and wanted to find out for myself. I had to give Sandra my opinion. The pot roast was fantastic. Also, the mashed potatoes included chunks of red skin potatoes and a hint of garlic. Delicious! I didn't initially think I cared for the mac & cheese, but then realized I was inhaling it.  Although it was baked, it was cheesy and not eggy; just the way I like it.  While I was picking up my dinner, I had been talked into some chocolate banana pudding too. Talking me into it didn’t involve much arm-twisting. It was definitely worth the $1.50. During the winter tailgate market, I’d gotten some Candy Apple Jelly from Harvest Catering. I don’t care for cinnamon, and the smell of it was the first thing that hit me when I opened the jar. I forged ahead and discovered some truly yummy jelly. I may be a cinnamon convert. Today I also bought some sweet spicy pecans from Harvest Catering to add to my beet and feta salad. I tried one when I got home. I popped it into my mouth, chewed a little, and thought, “This isn’t spicy at all.” Then it hit me. I take back what I said. They are sweet and spicy and will be an excellent addition to my salad.

With our bag filled with goodies and our constitutions weakened by the heat, we left the market. I was so thrilled to see all the people that turned out today, despite the temperature and humidity. Maybe they had all heard the same piece of trivia that I had: according to the Leopold Center for Sustainable Agriculture, most fruits and vegetables sold at U.S. supermarkets travel an average of 1,500 miles from their source, whereas farmers’ market produce is usually sold less than 50 miles from where it’s grown. I know how wilted I am after a long trip, and I’m sturdier than an ear of corn or a tomato. I was a fan of the farmers’ market before reading that, and I’m even more devoted now. I’ll be heading over to Harrisburg on Monday, and I hope to see some of you there!